So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
