so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
