i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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