at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
