you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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