Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
