just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize