im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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