I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
