just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
