I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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