I think I died a long time ago.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
