yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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