who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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