All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
