Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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