there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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