You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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