NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize