I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
