If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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