there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
