Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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