It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm always down for nudity.
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