I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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