It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
