Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
