so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
