Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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