I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You know, be my cock's hype man.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
