I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
