Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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