I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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