True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
