It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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