it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
