so explain again why im purple
no
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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