My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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