I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
