I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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