Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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