i just had sex bonerless
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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