i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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