If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
