I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize