I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
