Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize