try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize