I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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