Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
