...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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