I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
