This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize