Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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