I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
