I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize