addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
