I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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