let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize