this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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