You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
