How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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