I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
