Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
send nudes
from the living room?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
