Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
