I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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