Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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