We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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