Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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