How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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