Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am naked and annoyed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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