My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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