Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
