Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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