ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
