3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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