The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We have started to decorate penises.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
