totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
MIDGETS
????
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
