the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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