Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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